I knit stuff, too, sometimes

For some reason (like clockwork), my knitting mojo always comes back when I reach an emotional low point.  And this is one of those times, unfortunately.  I don't talk about it much on this blog, but I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and car accident-related PTSD back in 2008, and this is one of those so-called "low points" that I get to every so often.  I don't know what triggered it, I'm not sure, and even if I went back and retraced my steps, I don't think I would find it.  But in the past few days I've been having tiny, harsh panic attacks every so often.  They're not the full-blown, suckass ones that I used to get, but they're short, and harsh, and sharp, and they suck.  I don't see them coming, they just happen...and I'm left to counteract the results and wonder what the hell I'm doing wrong this time.

Fortunately, as I said a few months ago...there are many, many babies being born into my circle of friends this year.  So I've no end of knitting with which to occupy myself.  Knitting is one of those perfect activities to do when anxious.  It has the benefits of both calming the nerves and giving you something to occupy yourself with, while also letting you think (unless you're knitting something complicated -- then you're on your own).

Today I'm knitting another of Ginny's Newborn Hat with a Hint of Lace.  This one is for another member of David's family who is having a baby (not finding out the sex.  Yarn is something I bought on sale at WEBS, just  because it was soft and shiny and on sale and I was weak.  I don't remember the color name or the name of yarn (it's a pretty shiny silvery color).  I'm knitting it on US 3's.  It's even coming out a little big, which kind of surprised me.  On 3's I expected it to be a little smaller than normal.  But.  That's the way knitting goes, I guess.

I've really been thinking a lot about the Lady Bertram shawlette kit that I picked up a month ago.  I don't know if starting lace is the best idea right now (baby hats seem so much safer).  But it can't hurt to just wind the yarn, right?  And should I feel confident enough, maybe I'll give it a whirl.

And with any luck, be feeling more like "myself", soon.